Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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