Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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