i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize