Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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