Have you finally orgasmed yet?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
