maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize