this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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