Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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