I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you never un-have a 4some
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
