Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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