I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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