u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
