This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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