wanna go halves on a baby?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
