We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Hippo gnu deer
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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