I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize