so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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