Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize