If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We left the knife in your bed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
