If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize