Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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