are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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