she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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