How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
