Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
