I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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