This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I intend to get homeless drunk
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
