Buhtt sex?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
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Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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