i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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