quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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