Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
