Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
