he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
not ubering you a puppy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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