my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
