so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
