bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
