Me too!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
