Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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