How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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