I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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