i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
