one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
