Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
