Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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