worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
