I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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