"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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