he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize