is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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