dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Are we still banned from the library?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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