just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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