It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
