Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
