i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
