I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
