we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
