I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize