tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
