The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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