i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
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Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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